


A Moment in the Shade

by Hooded_and_Cloaked



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Episode: s04e09 Lancelot du Lac, Lancelot and Merlin love each other that's it that's the story, M/M, Past Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26700337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hooded_and_Cloaked/pseuds/Hooded_and_Cloaked
Summary: Set during s04e09 Lancelot du Lac. A one-shot about what should have happened at the end, because Lancelot and Merlin are in love.
Relationships: Lancelot/Merlin (Merlin)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 97





	A Moment in the Shade

Silence. Nothing but silence. Sir Lancelot had never feared death, but he had often thought about what came after. He worked hard to be a good and noble man, and to carry the banner of Camelot with pride, but he could never be quite certain if Heaven would accept him. As it turned out, he needn’t have worried at all. With Merlin’s eyes the last sight he would ever take in, he had stepped through the torn veil into the cool embrace of nothing. It was as if the veil itself wrapped around him, cradling his soul in her bosom, as a mother does her child. There was no judgment, no pearly gates, no fire and brimstone. Only quiet. The peace of finality. Able to rest after a lifetime of ambition achieved and love lost, Lancelot found heaven in the dreamless sleep of eternity. For a time.

The quiet rippled at first. Understanding of sensation and thought dawned on him after millennia or restful silence. Droplets of ethereal water seemed to brush across skin he knew he did not have anymore. A troubling darkness crept into his heart. A feeling of fear and unease that should have been impossible. Nightmares forced their way into his mind. Flashes of horror. Gwen was all he could think about, but not in the way he expected. He had never in his life wished her ill, but now he was consumed by the desire to ruin her. Perhaps this was hell after all. Merlin crossed his mind only in brief pulses, but he always slipped away as quickly as he came. In life, Lancelot would have given anything for more time with Merlin. To pursue his feelings, to discover whether or not the beautiful young warlock could feel the same way. He hadn’t even realized /he/ could feel that way until it was almost too late. In the end, he’d given up everything so Merlin could have more time. But here in this hell, an evil that must have lurked within him came to life, wrenching his thoughts and cares and needs to cruelty. Lancelot had never felt so utterly trapped.

Then awareness of Gwen began to fade. The pride of success washed over him and made him feel sick. Then he felt nothing. It was quiet again, but this time, it felt like The absence of life. Like a forest that ought to be full of song birds falls silent before a storm. He waited and waited for the cataclysm he could feel just around the corner. He wanted to run or hide or fight, but he could do nothing. The torment of restlessness ate at his mind, but he was helpless against its gnashing teeth. He wanted to cry, but he knew he never would again.

A soft presence spoke to him in a language he knew not. The voice was unmistakable, and Lancelot opened his eyes to see the face of one he dearly loved. The chains had been broken, his weary soul felt peace again. He knew that he was not alive, but here he was, those eyes in front of him once again. “Merlin,” He said, and a smile touched his lips. 

A choking laugh escaped the other man, and Lancelot’s heart ached. It was no longer the ache of fear and helplessness, but rather of affection and desire. Merlin’s toothy grin did nothing to hide the tears brimming in his eyes, or the dark redness of past weeping. Lancelot wanted to stay with him, to wipe the sorrow away and hold him, but he knew his time was short, as he’d always known in life. Merlin placed a hand on Lancelot’s forehead. “Rest, dear friend.”

“Merlin,” Lancelot said again. If these breaths were to be his last, he would use them well. “I love you.”

Another laugh pushed its way from Merlin’s grief-tightened throat. He shook his head, eyes squeezed shut. Lancelot could feel the hand on his forehead trembling. That hand was quickly replaced by a shaky kiss just above the eyebrows. “I love you too. Of course I love you,” Merlin said, emotion thickening his voice.

Contentment washed through Lancelot’s bones and into his soul. If he had said the same thing to any of the knights, they would not have taken his meaning. He could imagine Percival punching his arm like a brother might and laughing. Elyan might have said it back as a friend and companion. Gwaine would have thought it a joke about how long his hair was getting. But Merlin. There was something so genuine about his heart. He saw Lancelot in a way few others could. Merlin’s shaking hand moved down his face, and seeming to shock himself, he ran his thumb along Lancelot’s lower lip. 

His energy fading, Lancelot gazed up at Merlin, allowing him to see the love in his eyes for the first time. Merlin took his meaning perfectly, rushing to steal his final breath from his lungs. Their lips collided in a soft display of mutual care and devotion. If Heaven were real, Lancelot would have lain wrapped in that moment forever. But alas, the quiet came to take him once more, allowing Merlin’s eyes to be his last sight once again.


End file.
